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TV Expert Interviews / Motivational / Jul 16, 2024 / Posted by Yankel Meislin / 30

The Most Effective Strategies for Confronting Self-Sabotage (video)

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Overcoming Self-Sabotage: Insights from Yankel Meislin and “Positive Intelligence”

In a recent episode of the Expert Insight Interview, John Goldin, host of Pop Online Sales Magazine and Pipeline CRM, sat down with Yankel Meislin, a former drug dealer turned life coach and mentor. The discussion centered around the pervasive issue of self-sabotage, drawing on concepts from Shirzad Chamine’s book “Positive Intelligence.” Meislin shared his personal experiences and professional insights on how individuals can recognize and overcome self-sabotage to lead more fulfilling lives.

Understanding Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage is a common yet often misunderstood phenomenon where individuals unconsciously hinder their own success and well-being. According to Chamine’s “Positive Intelligence,” self-sabotage is driven by internal “saboteurs”—negative thought patterns that trigger destructive behaviors. Meislin and Goldin’s conversation delved into the various types of saboteurs and the importance of being present and self-aware to combat these tendencies.

The Role of the “Judge”

At the core of self-sabotage is the “judge,” a mental gatekeeper that interprets events and triggers negative emotions. The judge activates specific saboteurs, each manifesting in unique ways and impacting behaviors and relationships. Meislin emphasized that recognizing the judge’s influence is the first step toward overcoming self-sabotage.

Types of Saboteurs

Meislin outlined several common saboteurs, each with distinct characteristics:

  • Controller: Needs to take charge and control situations, often leading to stress and strained relationships.
  • Hyper-Rational: Overemphasizes logic and rationality, potentially neglecting emotional and relational aspects.
  • Hyper-Achiever: Ties self-worth to accomplishments, leading to burnout and dissatisfaction.
  • Hyper-Vigilant: Constantly on alert for potential threats, resulting in anxiety and exhaustion.
  • Victim: Feels powerless and seeks sympathy, often leading to a lack of personal responsibility.
  • Stickler: Obsesses over perfection and order, causing frustration and rigidity.
  • Avoider: Evades difficult tasks and conflicts, leading to procrastination and missed opportunities.

The Restless Saboteur

A particularly prevalent type of self-sabotage discussed was the “restless” saboteur. Restless individuals constantly shift from one activity to another, never fully committing to any single endeavor. This behavior is often driven by a fear of missing out and exacerbated by social media, which promotes a culture of comparison and dissatisfaction.

Strategies to Overcome Self-Sabotage

Meislin provided actionable advice for recognizing and overcoming self-sabotage, emphasizing the importance of presence, intentionality, and self-awareness.

1. Be Present in the Moment

One of the most effective ways to combat self-sabotage is to cultivate mindfulness and stay present. This involves:

  • Mindfulness Practices: Engage in meditation, deep breathing, or yoga to center your mind and reduce distractions.
  • Focus on the Now: Avoid dwelling on past mistakes or future anxieties. Concentrate on the current task and give it your full attention.

2. Confront Negative Thought Patterns

Identifying and challenging negative thoughts is crucial for overcoming self-sabotage. Meislin suggested:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Techniques: Use methods like journaling to track negative thoughts and reframe them positively.
  • Affirmations: Develop positive affirmations to counteract self-critical thoughts and reinforce self-worth.

3. Recognize Your Saboteurs

Understanding your specific saboteurs can help you address them more effectively. Meislin recommended:

  • Self-Assessment: Take quizzes or assessments to identify your dominant saboteurs.
  • Reflect on Triggers: Analyze situations that activate your saboteurs and develop strategies to manage them.

4. Leverage Positive Aspects

While saboteurs are generally negative, they can have positive aspects when managed correctly. Meislin advised:

  • Harness Strengths: Identify the strengths associated with your saboteurs (e.g., the controller’s leadership skills) and use them constructively.
  • Balance: Strive for a balance between leveraging strengths and mitigating negative impacts.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes, overcoming self-sabotage requires external support. Meislin highlighted the benefits of:

  • Coaching and Mentorship: Work with a life coach or mentor to gain insights and develop personalized strategies.
  • Therapy: Consider therapy to address deeper psychological issues contributing to self-sabotage.

Conclusion

The conversation between John Goldin and Yankel Meislin provided valuable insights into the nature of self-sabotage and practical strategies for overcoming it. Individuals can break free from self-sabotage and lead more fulfilling lives by being present, confronting negative thought patterns, recognizing saboteurs, leveraging positive aspects, and seeking professional guidance.

For more information on Yankel Meislin’s work and to explore further resources on overcoming self-sabotage, check out his website and follow his guidance. Thank you for tuning in to this enlightening episode of the Expert Insight Interview.

Our Host

John is the Amazon bestselling author of Winning the Battle for Sales: Lessons on Closing Every Deal from the World’s Greatest Military Victories and Social Upheaval: How to Win at Social Selling. A globally acknowledged Sales & Marketing thought leader, speaker, and strategist, he has conducted over 1500 video interviews of thought leaders for Sales POP! online sales magazine & YouTube Channel and for audio podcast channels where Sales POP! is rated in the top 2% of most popular shows out of 3,320,580 podcasts globally, ranked by Listen Score. He is CSMO at Pipeliner CRM. In his spare time, John is an avid Martial Artist

About Author

Yankel Meislin was a secular Jew growing up who was active in sports and his community until the temptations of the streets led him astray at 14. He became a drug dealer who, at the age of 19, was selling a high volume of narcotics to the extent that he hired his own gang-affiliated bodyguard. After numerous attempts by his family to save him, he ultimately turned his life around when given an ultimatum to leave the life or be on his own. He currently has 16 years of sobriety! Yankel's next stop took him to a rehab facility in Florida, where he became acquainted with the 12-step programs. Realizing how precarious a situation he was in, he decided to give his all to his recovery. This included a spiritual journey that led him to find his "G-d of his understanding" in his native Judaism. Through some serendipitous meetings with a Chassidic Rabbi, Yankel was drawn into this lifestyle. Slowly but surely he took on more and more traditions until he himself would be counted as a Chassid. Today, Yankel works with men and young adults to discover their true identity (whatever that may be) and "ignite" a spark for his clients to truly be themselves and live what they consider to be their life's mission. Yankel does this by coaching, questioning, and supporting them in whatever way serves them best. His clients have gone on to discover their true passions and identities and create amazing results in their own lives!

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