The natural human condition is quite negative, and it takes a lot of work and discipline to reshape the way we think of ourselves, others, and the world. Influence and charisma is largely based on positivity, and communicating a positive message about yourself and your values to others. Mary Gardner is a nationally recognized public speaker and speaking coach, as well as an expert on developing charisma and influence.
Create Your Own Story:
Negative self-talk is ever prominent for almost all individuals. The way that we talk to ourselves is huge, and if we think and speak negatively, it creates a really sad story. The way to combat this is by creating a new story that is positive and positioning your experiences in a way that creates a happy story. Some ways to do that are to create a pros and cons list, and then write your story based on the pros. Another technique is to identify areas where you have added value, and focusing on where you have been successful. The more you speak these positives, both out loud and internally, the more you shape a positive reality.
The Path to Success:
Most individuals aspire to move up and have positive, forward-moving growth in their careers. However, sometimes the path to success can feel daunting and overwhelming. This often leads to abandoning the goal and staying stagnant. If you can change your perspective to focus on what is immediately in front of you, the first few steps to get to where you want to go, the journey seems much less overwhelming and success becomes more attainable because you are focused and motivated. One of the things that can really diminish charisma and influence is presenting as scattered and all over the place. The ability to take a step back and to set specific, focused goals will not only be beneficial for you but also communicate success and competency to those around you.
One of the best ways to generate positivity is to look within your own community for positivity role models. What goes in, comes out. If you are training yourself with bad language and training yourself with content that isn’t positive, that is what’s going to come out. Be aware of your environment. Stay around positive people. When you have people in your line of influence that are negative, be aware of their negativity and set your intention for positivity. It can be difficult to do this, but it’s so needed and will help you remain positive.