“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ―Buddha
Everyone gets angry in life. Some people get angry often while some people get angry seldom based on their emotions, mindset, and personality. In fact, anger is unavoidable in life. It is easy to control anger if people understand about themselves, and the people around them. Anger is the worst enemy in life that destroys relations forever and brings ill will among the people. Some people find it tough to conquer anger. In fact, anger is associated with emotions and can be managed easily by adopting certain tools and techniques. Some of the tools include wedding to spiritualism and doing meditation.
Anger is very harmful to the human body and mind. People lose sleep and develop anxiety. It has adverse effects on others. People forget what they do during anger because they often lose their mental balance. Anger is often dangerous leading to misunderstanding, violence, and crimes. Hence, people must identify the reasons for their anger and address them earnestly and immediately to contain further damage and loss. However, there are people who converted their anger into aggression to unlock their hidden potential to excel as extraordinary achievers.
Anger is a Double-Edged Sword
If you channel anger constructively, you can achieve miracles in your life. In contrast, if you use it destructively, you ruin your prospects and peace in life. When anger goes out of control, it plays havoc. It damages personal, professional and social relations, and lowers prestige and image. There are ample examples where years of relationship and friendship is lost because of anger. Hence, it is essential to control your anger to lead a happy, peaceful and pleasant life. Here are some tools and techniques to control your anger.
- Be calm before you comment. Speak assertively. Remember, neither aggressiveness nor submissiveness works in this world. What works is assertiveness. To speak assertively, you must remain cool, calm and composed. Don’t attack the individuals but attack only issues to resolve them amicably.
- Analyze the root causes and address them earnestly.
- Separate your emotions from issues and explore ideas to resolve the issues. Don’t look at who is right and wrong but look at what is right and wrong.
- Count numbers from one to ten and in the reverse order to divert your attention from anger. Mark Twain remarked, “When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”
- Write the issues that create anger in your mind on paper and burn it. It decreases your anger to a great extent.
- Avoid making hasty decisions when in anger. Postpone the devil of decision-making. Ensure that your head rules over your heart.
- Go for a walk before making a decision. It energizes your body and helps you think analytically and logically.
- Doing exercises regularly enable the endorphins to calm you down and serve as an outlet for your rage. Here are some physical activities such as running, cycling, swimming, boxing, and dancing help you control your anger.
- Breathe deeply in through your nose and exhale through your mouth to help your body relax. It helps more oxygen go inside your brain thus relieving your tension and anger.
- Drink water to cool down yourself.
- Emphasize excellence, not perfection. You may get upset when you stress on perfection.
- Develop flexibility and adaptability. Don’t try to change everything around you. There are certain things that are beyond human control. Understand this reality to eliminate your anger.
- Take breaks periodically to overcome stress and unwind yourself.
- Don’t be oversensitive to the issues. Focus on bigger issues and offer your ideas. In this way, you forget your anger and focus on solutions rather than the problems. Precisely, become part of the solution, not the problem.
- Don’t expect anything from others. Empathize and understand their limitations.
- Avoid perceptions. We often look at the world the way we are, not the way they are. Look at the issues with new lenses.
- Avoid focusing on stressful people, and unpleasant events and experiences. Let go off the past.
- Forgive the people who let you down to eliminate anger forever. Forgiveness is the greatest trait in human beings.
I served in the Indian Air Force, and I was very aggressive in my younger days. I have made a few mistakes due to my anger. Now I realize that I was wrong. I also began forgiving people especially my relatives who cheated me and put me into lots of problems financially. It gave me a great sense of satisfaction and happiness. Whenever I see people getting angry on trivial issues and on others, I smile at them.
Remember, there are no permanent friends and foes in life. At times, it is the perceptions or egos that lead to anger and conflicts. Hence, adopt the tools and techniques to tame your anger to lead a happy and peaceful life.